The application, the home study, the dossier…there was so much paperwork to complete! It took me forever to finish the application. I woke up one morning at 6 a.m. sat down and typed out the answers to all of the questions… but two. The first related to my financial information, which I needed to document and sort out, since I didn’t have a ton of money. The second was a “Dear Birthmother” letter. I don’t believe it was going to be shared with the birth mother. It was more of an exercise to make one really think about all aspects of the adoption process. I had no idea what to write. It took me two months to finish those last two questions and finally submit my application.
Here is the “Birth Mother” letter I finally wrote; it was short. Really, what could one say?
Dear Birth Mother,
I can’t even begin to tell you how grateful I am for the sacrifice you are making so that your child may have a better life. I am a single woman and I desire to have a child to love and share my life. I can tell you that this child will be loved by me and a large extended group of family and friends. Even as I welcome her into my heart and home as my child, I know her roots and beginning start with you and her country of birth, Guatemala. You gave her the gift of life. And now, you are giving me the gift of raising her. I am forever grateful. I want you to know that she will be surrounded by love and as much opportunity as I can provide. I have so much to give.
– Lisa
No closing. No sincerely, regards, respectfully yours. Nothing seemed appropriate, so nothing is what I used.
Next step was the intake meeting, which was an informal meeting with Iris, the agency director. After that, I began the home study process. Just the thought of a home study is bit nerve wracking. I made sure the house was very, very clean!
Per Wikipedia: A home study or home study is a screening of the home and life of prospective adoptive parents prior to allowing an adoption to take place. In some places, and in all international adoptions, a home study is required by law.[1][2] Even where it is not legally mandated, it may be required by an adoption agency. Depending on the location and agency, different information may be sought during a home study.
I met with the social worker, Linda Beizer 3 times, answering questions about my life and my feelings about adoption. I needed 5 references, 2 from family members and 3 from my friends. I selected my sister Marian and sister in law Margy for the family references. From my friends, I asked someone from High School – Jill; someone from college – Lee; and someone from work – Roberta. God bless my family and friends for taking the time to write detailed, positive letters. Next update – the dossier.
Finding Abilities 