On this particular morning, I had an argument with my 13 year old daughter before she headed off to school. That alone can throw me off balance and make my hands shake. All the frustration left over from our discussion just messes with my body. When I got to the office, I went over to a coworker’s desk to talk with my friend who was standing there. I needed some support. She is also a single mom to a teenage girl. I said “I need a drink!” joking of course. I heard later that after I left, my coworker asked my friend: “Why does Lisa shake?” My friend said, “Oh she has a neurological disorder. You can ask her about it. She is pretty open about it.” The coworker said, “Phew, I thought maybe she was in withdrawal and really did need a drink.”
It really was a very funny story and I laughed. I mean belly laughed when my friend told me. I guess I have gotten so used to my shaking that unless it is really bad (story for another day), I don’t notice it all that much. I know the things to stay away from – hot hors d’oeuvres at a wedding, a cup of tea when talking with a coworker, holding the songbook when sharing music. I didn’t think it was noticeable just talking with someone.
I need to get over it; get over worrying what people may observe or what they think. One time in the checkout line in the cafeteria a woman asked if I had diabetes because my hand was shaking. I know she meant well, but I didn’t feel like discussing it. I said no and left it at that. So, people may think I am nervous, drink too much coffee or that I have Diabetes, Parkinson’s or the DTs. I just need to go with it. I could wear a sign around my neck explaining the situation – I have CMT. Maybe when someone asks, I can hand them an index card with all the facts and they can read it at their leisure. I can’t seem to avoid all situations that make my hands shake and really what does it matter why they shake, they just do. I’ve tried medication, it didn’t work and I didn’t like it.
Now, I am doing strength training. Exercising with weights seems to help. Having a sense of humor and being able to belly laugh at it all also really helps. So I laugh often and I laugh hard. So hard my whole body shakes!
Finding Abilities 